Sepp Blatter: the most condescending, devious, arrogant ‘man’ in the world. I detest you and your inconceivable state of success, your highly paid wages and your oh so very formidable decisions. Your constant and never ending dominance of the global media, your snide disrespectful and quite frankly absurd comments along with your controversial and stubborn decisions fill cynical fans like me with a bitter hatred. I’m not quite sure what I despise more? Is it your clear arrogance and insensitivity towards important concerns? Or maybe, it’s your uncanny yet undoubtedly impressive resemblance to Jabba the Hut. Honestly, what will it take for you to resign? Money? Your bank accounts are full enough. Women? Make them “wear tighter shorts and low cut shirts”, wasn’t that your view? Popularity? You must be joking?! Basically, what I’m trying to say is, what will it take for you to bring an end to the absurdity currently besetting world football and which will force to scribble that name on the ever anticipated resignation letter?
Is this a bit too offensive? Maybe a little harsh? I hope so. For you see, to express my abomination for this man and the dishonour he brings to the role of Presidency, I must also lower myself to his level. And If you, dear reader, are still unaware of this abominable monster, I envy you and I suggest you switch off your TV’s, close your newspapers and shut your curtains before you too are taken over with the bitter pilled frustration we all must endure.
1998. It’s the year terrorists scared the US; the year hurricanes shook the world; the year when the Pacific faced the largest of oil spillages. Yet, something much more devastating was soon to come. Something that would affect the world. On the 7th June, Joseph Sepp Blatter was elected FIFA president. With his degree in business and economics he was more than ready to succeed in his prestigious role in world football - wasn’t he? Apparently not! The introduction of goal line technology has been long awaited by all in football however, in 2008, the bastard shrugged off the idea and any hope of an appeal was dashed by the submissiveness of those nodding poodles on the panel(no doubt they were too busy picking their noses and drawing on each other’s faces). So not only did Mr.Blatter now have to trudge round with enormous ego, he also had the hatred of millions of armchair critics resting on his tiny little shoulders. Surely this was a one off? A onetime mistake? Of course it wasn’t. The power went to his shallow petty head and the results were catastrophic- for it was the beginning of his era, the beginning of the end.
It took another 2 critic filled years before this creature finally crawled out of his money filled shell and decide he missed seeing his name inked on the front of every paper. It’s late 2010, the English nation is trying to redeem itself from their Blatter -inflicted defeats by winning a world cup bid, but of course he wasn’t going to pick the most rational, most experienced country though. Who would?! The world’s media erupted as Qatar won the bid and now labelling this man a brain-dead fool would almost be complimenting his Alien like features. Promoting a World Cup in a desert dominated country, a country of 50 degrees heat is definitely up there with the world’s most illogical and stupid decisions. Don’t you see what you are doing?! Adults curse at your name, children don’t dare venture outside and the elderly now sleep with the light on. It’s ridiculous! So you see, not only are you destroying the world’s most popular game, you are ruining lives- like a David…