Short Paper

Submitted By marienafis
Words: 900
Pages: 4

Feeling like you belong to smething important and feeling as if your are being excluded are too completely different feelings. Both circumstances involve some type of feelings that often can be explained as being the opposite of eachother. Whenever I feel like an outsider I find myself feeling a lot of sadness and often asking myslef why am i doing wrong and why don't I belong here. However, when I'm in a situation where I do feel included and truly part of something that is important, I am having a good time and I am just focusing on the task at hand. I don't have any negativbe thoughts running through my mind and I'm free from all other outisde distractions. Being part of something important, in a way makes me feel more important and more focused on whatever I am doing. I honestly hate when I feel like I am an outsider because how much anger and sadness those moments provide. It isn't a joyful feeling and I only have a constant supply of negative thoughts running through my mind which last until I go to sleep that same day and its gone the nextday. One point in my life where I felt as if I was being excluded was during basketball season of my freshman year of high school. I was very excited to be named a starter before the first game of the season but, as the season went on I began to loose track of my grades. Midway through the season I found out that I was actually failing three classes and was unable to participate in all team activities, which meant that I could no longer practice or play. Having to watch my team practice and play games just made me feel as if I no longer existed and like I didn't matter to the team anymore. I was so embarrased to tell people why I couldn't play when they would ask me and I spent a lot of days that season wondering what I was doing and why had this happened to me. These are not enjoyable circumstances and something that doesn't happen when you feel like you are part of something. When I feel like I am part of something important it is a complete 360 degree turn from being an outsider. I feel as if I have a stronger purpose and a stronger sense of security. During my sophmore year of high school I was named one of the captains of the junior varsity football team. I had a great preseason and I earned the trust of my coaches to be considered a leader on the team. I had more duties and more authoruity then the other players that weren't captains, which made me feel very confident on and off the football field. During my games and when I was practicing I was focused and focused on one thing only, which was football. I didn't have any negative and nagging thoughts going through my mind constabtly that prevented me from feeling confident and secure. As the captian I knew that I was more the just a player and someone that was truly part of something that was important and established. Players and coaches would come up and ask me questions or how I was doing, which then reassured me that I existed and they knew I was there. I think that when you are being made felt part of something important that it carries over to other parts of your life and fills you with a regained