I was all dressed up ready for the day. It wasn't in a church but was in a hotel in my town which was much better, but we new the drinks were going to be expensive.
We got to the hotel about 10am and all filled into the room and took our seats. The inside of my suit jacket was rammed with a hit flask and that was to the rim with spiced rum which even when mixed with fizzy pop gets you shitted off your tittys. The rest of the bottle was smuggled in under my friends baby buggy, word had got round with a few of my friends at the wedding that I was packing heat and the hit flask started to get passed around even when the bride entered and wobbled to the front we were chugging the hit flask.
Then after all the boring shit we hit the bar and started drinking stupid amounts of alcohols. Now we jump forward to about 8pm when some how one of my good friends managed to get into the wedding as someone's plus 1. The bride and groom had no clue who this guy was but in good spirit let it fly.
This friend is a 1 man eating and drinking wreaking machine with no shame and no manners (also borderline retarded) and I have countless stories that revolve around him. Any-ways he turns up sees we are all smashed up and plays catch up downing pint after pint at the bar followed by sambooka shots and anything he can get his massive ginger hands on.
After a good 2 hours of solid drinking we are told that the buffet is open, after he does his stretching and deep breathing excersizes he does…