“I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will.” I find common ground when reading this quote from Henry David Thoreau. As quoted by many, solitude is bliss. Stepping out of the hustle and bustle of the world to be by oneself for moments in time are quite beneficial. When people are alone, there is more flexibility for relaxation and freeing of the mind.
Throughout high school, I was quite a socialite. Through my student leadership class and holding class offices, I would be put in charge of planning school events such as community service projects, dances, pep rallies, and so much more. A part of planning huge events, of course, is having to work cooperatively with several other people. However, working with so many people also brings out the sad truth that you cannot always satisfy everyone’s expectations, and you may also get frustrated with not getting what you hoped for yourself. Situations like those taught me to do things by myself to get a higher chance of getting the results I wanted. In other words, “if you want something done right, do it yourself.”
As far back as I can remember, I was always trying to do things by myself. In second grade, when all my other classmates would admit to getting help from their parents on an art project, I would proudly say that I did mine by myself. In eighth grade, when my science teacher assigned a group project on planets, I researched the information, made a brochure, built a model of Saturn, and prepared a Powerpoint presentation all by myself. All that I asked of my two other partners was to buy lollipops to pass out to the class after our presentation. In my freshman year of high school, because I had too much free time, I occupied myself by learning how to use HTML codes for web designing and how to graphic design. My school and small organizations would ask me to create artwork for them. By junior and senior year, I was so busy that finishing homework was a hassle. People around me would offer one another to have a look at their assignments to copy, but I would just act interested to not offend a person’s offer for help. In reality, I just went home and did the work myself. I am a strict enforcer of doing things yourself to ensure that the results are to your liking.
Why am I like this? I just like to work alone. There are many reasons behind the method to my madness. When working with other people, it is never 100% certain that each person will hold up their end of the stick. In the past, I was the person giving my 110% effort, only to realize that those around me are just fulfilling their bare minimum. I was the friend who would open my closet to gal pals when they needed a last-minute outfit to wear to someone’s sixteenth birthday bash or a dinner date with a new boy. They would come at random times, dig through my things, grab what they needed, and go, leaving my room like it was hit by a tornado. The most disappointing part is when you ask to do the same, but the favor is not returned. I was the friend on-call. People would only call on me when they needed something. Experiences have led me to accept that you cannot depend on anyone but yourself.
Sometimes I wonder why I have never been in a serious relationship. I never really date around or flirt. At one point, I thought I had really high standards and was looking for something only possible in those teenage love stories from the eighties. Here are my friends, one moment gushing to me about the flowers their significant other would leave on their doorstep to crying to me because of a sudden breakup or an overdramatic fight over something probably insignificant. The emotional fluctuations are irritating. Many girls my age prattle about how they wish they had a guy, but I go on about my goals and dreams. I keep myself so…