Victoria L. Curran
October 10, 2012
Homework #3 Three different scenarios of when I used “you” language where “I” language might have presented me with a better outcome was when I confronted my friend telling her that when she asked me about my personal business it annoyed me, when I told my mom that I didn’t agree with her when we were remodeling my room, and when I confronted some girl from my high school when she was spreading rumors of me and my friends.
For me personally when people ask about my personal business it annoys me regardless of who it is. I like to keep things to myself and not tell every person I know what is going on with my life. My friend Jasmine is the type of person who constantly asks you about your business and if you have a problem she wants to be the first one to know. She finds out things that you thought most people didn’t know, its like she has nothing else to do besides go on about other people’s business. One day we were walking around the mall and just talking about what we had done last weekend. The out of nowhere she asked me ”Hey I heard you were crying yesterday what happened?” when she asked me this I was surprised to know that she found out because there was only two people there that saw me crying. Then I asked her “How do you know I was crying who told you?” She noticed the tone in my voice and simply told me she had heard from someone who had seen me. At this point I was already really annoyed that I confronted her and told her “Its really annoying of you to always be asking people about their problems or why they choose to do something, its it none of your business of you to know some of the things you ask about are personal and I know you care or maybe you don’t you just want to know, but either way there’s a boundary to what you should know or not know and inquire about others. You need to understand that people don’t always want to talk about it.” I did come of a little harsh when I told her that and she had this look on her face of shock and somewhat scared. She didn’t really respond to what I told her but you could tell by her body language that she was upset. In this situation if I would have had used the “you” language I’m sure she wouldn’t of had gotten as upset. I would of probably of had said “I don’t find it right that you always want to know my business, I mean yes I know you might care but I want you to understand that I don’t always want to talk about my problems and I hope you can respect that and just not ask me as anymore.” If I would have had said that I’m sure she would have had understood clearly what I was trying to actually tell her instead of just going off on her and her feelings wouldn’t of had been hurt.
Another scenario where I used the “I” language and I could have had used the “you” language was when my Mom was trying to use her ideas when we were remodeling my room. She decided that she was going to pick out the color of paint, the bed sheets and how the furniture was going to be rearranged. Some of her ideas I did agree on but most of them not really, after all it was my room. She got a little too excited with the whole remodeling that she started buying stuff that I knew wasn’t going to fit in my room. When I noticed I told her “Mom, stop trying to take over everything its my room I’m going to be the one sleeping in it, not you. So I should be the one choosing everything and how I want things to go.” She was so furious when she I told her that. Her response was “Excuse you? You shouldn’t be the one telling me what to do I’m the one with the authority here not you.” I couldn’t believe she actually saw it that way, I mean it was my room. I told her, “Well it is my room, and yes I know you have you’re own ideas but its not fair that since its my room I can’t have it the way I want it.” She paused for a minute and told me “You’re right it is your room and you should have it your way, but still there is no need for…