AP Prep Eng 11
30 April, 2015
Can Trust Truly Heal?
Many people have done something in life to terminate the trust of another. This can be a pretty harmful and life changing situation, seeing as relationships are built on the foundation of trust. Once someone has broken trust, is there ever a way to truly regain it? Or is everyone truly on their own, and can’t trust anyone? People all have different limits and restrictions on trust, and its a personal determination. However, with hard work and a sincere commitment, trust can be regained. Maybe not by everyone, but the majority will at some point forgive one who they love, but has angered or betrayed them. Everyone has or will at some point deal with broken trust. Sometimes we mistake our judgement and trust the wrong people, and sometimes people make genuine mistakes. Regardless the reason, broken trust is often a reason for a heavy conflict or possibly the end of a relationship all together. But once trust has been destroyed, can the relationship in question ever truly go back to the way it was before?
Can the trust be restored 100%? There usually is going to be some fearful doubt in the back of one's mind along the lines of, "what if they do what they did last time?". Fear is a natural human instinct, and it's very hard to ignore the feeling, especially when it comes to trusting someone. Most people believe or live as if, "it takes years to develop (trust), and only a moment to destroy"(Elmore, Ronn PhD, 13 April
2015). However, that is simply not always the case. Trust is a personal thing, and everyone has their own definition of it, and the limitations on trust finally differ from person to person. For some, of course, the statement above is very true. But many people have experienced trusting somebody after a few days, weeks, or months, not years. They can earn it, but it doesn't necessarily take a lifetime, it's about a feeling you get from that person and our judgement of their character. What something someone may deem completely unforgivable, another may forgive just as easily and be able to trust again. While trust can be destroyed in a moment, it doesn't take years to build, and it can eventually be restored, but only through hard work a and faithfulness. Trust, in a broad sense anyway, is giving someone the opportunity to hurt you. It's like saying to someone, "here, take this secret, don't spread it or some people won't like me." There's always a leverage You give them a little power over you, and you expect, or trust, them not to do anything that would hurt you. Everyones views of trust is different, but the broad definition usually has to do with secrets, or just trusting them not to do anything that would hurt in general. We live in a world today where many see trusting someone as weak. It’s not though, its a step of sharing yourself, and it takes real courage and bravery and a special kind of love.
You can only gain or regain trust by being genuine, and in general, trustworthy! “You have been faithful with a few things. I will put you in charge of many things”(Matthew 25:13, Bible).
Trustworthiness gain trust, not the other way around. You have to give it time and show you’re really trustworthy, and this may mean keeping many what would seem to be small, useless facts absolutely
sealed shut. Or just being really nice and interested in everything the other person says. You need to make small steps, and prove you’re really worth the commitment, and in turn that person will also be trustworthy to you, and trust you, which is truly a beautiful thing.
A relationship without trust is a relationship that will never truly flourish. There must be a certain level of trust and dependability from both sides. Sometimes some friendships may be completely unsalvageable, due to continuous lack of trust among other things. But that's not necessarily a bad thing, some people are blessings, others are a lesson. Not everyone that comes into your life is