All my life I figured that I knew the meaning of love and the recipe of how to have a successful relationship and marriage. In Which probably would be the same thing that many other people assume to be the right path to a successful relationship, you know the whole boy meets girl or today’s day and age girl meets boy, they like each other, become boyfriend/girlfriend, act out some fake replica of marriage, only to find out someone hasn’t upheld these fake vows then the cycle starts all over again Where that person feels like they may have failed.
On one’s pursuit to find the right one, and Most of the time the right one consists of three types of people: 1) the type that’s found you in the right time – you’re ready to settle down so therefore, you settle… 2) the person who’s either made it thru the boyfriend/girlfriend stage by hiding who they really were or by keeping the truth or certain truths from you… 3) or, if you’re lucky, someone who actually makes it thru who qualifies = the actual 10% who stay married the first time.
Just to give you a little history I’m no book scholar or researcher on the ins and outs of love, but from my life experiences, I would have to say I have a Ph.D in this Area, All my life I’ve struggled for the meaning of love, maybe it came from the effects of a broken home, or from my personal desire to fulfill my own personal love story as seen in the movies, who know, we’ll leave that up to the psychologists to figure out… what I do know, is that I’ve been on a hard pursuit to conquer and be conquered by this thing called true love and the baby that it births – a happy marriage.
The many facets of love: where do we go wrong?
We go wrong from jump-street… jump-street might be the whole girl meets boy, and this might be the 21st century way of seeing things, but I think enough of my heart broken, angry, rejected women would agree that taking the lead 9 times out of 10 results in pulling up the rear after being cheated on, rejected, or just mistreated… from the very start the male needs to chase you, when the woman takes the lead the man doesn’t respect you for the effort you wind up putting into the relationship, from the beginning the relationship is off.
We all can probably relate to the talking stage. You know, the stage where you meet someone and you talk, this is supposedly a very important stage because this should be the foundation stage, the go forward or red flag stage, This is the stage where we answer the questions, “do we mesh”, “do I like him/her”, “can I see myself married to this person”, “do they have the same morals”, “are they like my ex I,m still in love with” or maybe “are they like my ex I hate” which ever fits your situation right. The thing about the “talking stage” that really gets me is that most of the time people are trying to answer these questions and are indeed getting answers, but the answers are fabricated most of the time. Most of the time people lie or pretend to be what they think the person they are talking to wants them to be. So they lie or deceive their way through the talking stage and Bang the boyfriend and girlfriend stage is hell on wheels, cause surprise the two people actually don’t mesh like they thought they did. Or worse, the act is kept up through the girlfriend and boyfriend stage on into a marriage and once the agenda of marrying the person is fulfilled the real person comes out. Its crazy. So I basically say people should just be friends ,Why is it necessary? There is actually another approach o the talking stage. The approach is to have an agenda. So boy meets girl or girl meets boy and they think the other person fits their script. Well the problem come about up this initial interest. One person has an agenda. An agenda can be I want this guy or girl to fall for me, I want to marry him or her. See the problem here is whenever there is an agenda in place the truth is hard to find.