Walmart Bad Rules

Words: 1034
Pages: 5

At some point, the realization will occur where Walmart materializes as the Beyonce of supercenters it has everything that is needed in our short, inconsequential life. Eventually, if- and when- this occurs, and we revert back to the behavioral equivalent of a caveman, it’s essential to not forget these simple rules that will ensure persons to remain a tasteful, trashy individual.
Rule 1: Take Off The Mask, We Know You’re A Snake
Whoever gave you a reason to believe that the checkout clerk won’t be making judgments based off the items in that blue Walmart-branded shopping cart is a downright liar, and it’s about time to label that relationship toxic. Besides, it’s unlikely that the adult diaper package hidden between seventeen loaves of bread
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Not flushing the toilet? Completely fine! There’s another 5 stalls to use and abuse. It doesn’t seem to matter that the other five stalls used as their excuse were already trashed by previous visitors. So, to avoid having to flush the toilet more than once, save it for behind lockable doors.
Rule 5: The Roaming Workers Are Friends Who Will Be There ‘Til The End
Most of us, myself included, refuse to partake in certain social activities, such as asking a roaming Walmart worker for help. Just remember that when asking, the worker isn’t certified on the exact locations of each and every item in Walmart, so accept their help and ask another worker. Chances are, a second opinion might help locate that necessity.
Rule 6: The Human Randomizer
We’ve all done it, there’s no denying it; with a screaming two-year-old locked into a rickety cart, and a teacher calling about little Johnny’s failing grade, prioritizing the return of each unwanted item is illogical. Yet, why throw a single-edition Liv Doll into the fruit section when there’s a cashier who will happily return the doll to it’s rightful
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(Un)surprisingly, an almost-acquaintance may also be moving towards the general direction direction of the Electronics Section. The second it becomes evident that they’re strolling confidently towards that same department in their Adidas superstar shoes, protected by their bubble of composed disposition, jump into the nearest clothing rack. And while the cart in the store may still be sitting out there alone for anyone to grab, and passers-by may be questioning why this unstylish hooligan is acting like a complete basket case, the only thing that matters is the (un)successful attempt to escape an embarrassing