Composition 2 (Engl. 2367, w17)
September 12, 2013
I can’t tell you the exact day, or what I was doing, or even what year it was, but I can tell you exactly how I felt when my best friend since the third grade told me that she was gay. She was so nervous about my reaction; terrified I would react horribly, be afraid or maybe even not want to be friends anymore. I will never understand what it is like to tell someone that you are gay; I will never have to anticipate their reaction, praying that it isn’t a negative one and that this stranger can have some respect for who I am. When Marie told me, at first I didn’t know what to say. I sat there, thinking about what words were going to come out of my mouth. Everything I had learned in my Catholic church told me that being gay was wrong, that it was against the word of God. I was young then, and since I didn’t know any gay people, I didn’t have an opinion on what the Church said about them. I just sat quietly in my pew and waited for communion. But now, learning that my best friend is gay, well it did affect me directly. And I did have to think about how I felt about my church, and about their teachings, and even about God. As all these thoughts were flying through my head, Marie became more nervous.
“Mads, I want you to know that I’ve never thought about you in that way. I love you so much; you’re my best friend and like a sister to me.” That snapped me back to Earth and I looked at her and realized that the thought of her having a crush on me hadn’t even crossed my mind. All I knew was that Marie Lintner was my best friend, and I loved her like a sister too. And her being gay didn’t change that love for me at all.
I have been raised an Irish Catholic. When I moved in with my dad at the age of 8, we started attending Catholic Church because his girlfriend (now my mother) is catholic and she wanted me, and my sister and brother, to experience the love and the power of God. We attended mass every Sunday, and we sat next to or near Marie’s family almost every mass. Marie was also raised Catholic. My mother and father got married in that Catholic Church when I was eleven years old. When we moved away, we found a new Catholic Church to join. Eventually I joined youth groups, and later I led youth groups. However, when I was younger I never paid attention in mass. All I did was wait for the Our Father because I knew that meant Church was almost over. However, as I grew older, I was baptized into the Catholic Church, received my first Holy Communion and went through the process of Reconciliation. Because I was baptized at such an old age (I was nine years old), I received all three sacraments at the same time. After that, I began to pay more attention in Church. I read the Bible at night, and I gave my heart and my faith to God. I thought that everything the Bible said was the absolute truth.
These beliefs that I had, I understand now that they were constructed by the people around me, but it took me a long time to realize that it wasn’t the people around me; but my perception of them. My mother is catholic, my grandmother is catholic, and they were, and are currently, the most important women and role models in my life. Because they took me to mass every Sunday, I believed that both of them felt that the Bible was the true and exact word of the Lord. And so I was overcome by it. I let the Lord into my life and I would not listen to any other opinions about the Bible, about interpretations or about hypocrisies the Bible may prove to bring. I surrounded myself with peers that felt the same way, and I would not be swayed by anyone that said or felt differently.
The day that Marie told me she is gay, I supported her and I told her it didn’t matter to me. Because it doesn’t. I didn’t talk to my mom about it because I knew Marie would want to tell her herself, she and my mom are very close. And eventually when my mom asked me…