Speech 121 T/ Th 11:10-12:35
Professor Kate Campbell
April 16, 2015
I didn’t hear you.
In this world full of distractions, it’s hard to focus your full attention on just one thing or one person. Often we notice are self-starring off in to fantasy land instead of focusing on the person who is talking to you. Conversations may start off between couples after a long day “how was your day?” or “what did you do today”, but instead of listening their more interested on what happened in the baseball game this afternoon. Listening is a major issue with people around the world. This has often caused many arguments in my life and relationship.
As I walk in the door from a long stressful day from school and work, I set my stuff down by the door and acknowledge my boyfriend with a “hi, how’s your day”, I don’t get much in return. Occasionally I will get a “hi” but usually it’s nothing in return. Whenever I ask him why he doesn’t answer me back he constantly says “oh I didn’t hear you say anything.” This happens very often on many different situations. He often focuses on one thing and zones the rest of the world out. I often am very guilty of this as well. Once my eyes are set on my phone, computer or I often don’t hear much of what’s going on around me. I have been dating my boyfriend, Eddie, for about two years but have known him since about 6th grade. We have always had a pretty solid relationship with very minimal argument or bickers in other things besides listening to what each other have to say or each other’s feelings. In many instance the problems happens when we both do not give each other our undivided attention when we are talking to each other and constantly are focused on something else and will have to ask the other person to repeat themselves and it often causes conflicted in our relationship. It makes us feel like the other person doesn’t really care what we have to say and instead of trying to fix the problem, we continue to let it be a bigger issue then necessary in the relationship. “relationship conflict reflects a negative group context marked by interpersonal frictions, negative emotionality, and task disengagement.”
Listening and communication is not only important in our relationships but also in our everyday life. “Surveys show that as much as 55 percent of college students’ communication time is spent listening.(interplay page.209)” Many believe that there is no difference between hearing and listening, when there actually is a difference when it comes to how your brain is reacting. When you hear something “sound waves strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain.” When you are actually listening to someone “the brain will reconstruct these electrochemical impulses into representation of the original sound and then gives them meaning.” (Interplay 209) Really the major difference is you can hear a bunch of sounds out in the world and you don’t give them any thought, but when you’re listening to something you react and your brain with try to understand and create a meaning for what was just said
Eddie and I were out and dinner and we were waiting for the waitress to come and take our order. As we were waiting I was on my phone and Eddie was trying to talk about something, I really just wanted to look on my phone and see what was going on social media. So I didn’t say much back just a “yeah, okay.” Even though I wasn’t even sure what he said and this made him really upset with me because he didn’t think I was listening to him and it was true. Many people ignore one another without even thinking twice about it because it comes natural to do whatever you want instead of thinking about how someone else is feeling. This is something most people have to work on. Putting someone else’s is feeling before the things you want to do isn’t easy but is necessary for a strong relationship.
If you don’t have good listening skills your communication with another person isn’t going…