I Hear You And I Have A Different Perspective

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One of the readings that I found particularly interesting from this chapter was I Hear You, and I Have a Different Perspective. This chapter talks about using the important phrase of I hear you, and I have a different perspective. By using this phrase, it can reduce the scariness of the conflict, and also reduce the stress of the person speaking it. The reading explains that a life without conflict is nearly impossible and no two people are going to want exactly the same things at all times, so reducing stress when dealing with conflict is important. By approaching conflict with the method discussed earlier, you can respectfully listen to someone else’s viewpoint, and not necessarily have to change your own. By acknowledging that you hear the other person’s side of the argument, you are communicating that you are hearing what they have to say, and this can often lead the conflict from escalating or resulting into a personal attack. This style of communicating also develops mutual trust. Finally the reading discusses that including more of your point of view to help clarify your stance is an advanced relationship skill that is good to have because it fosters a deeper sense of connection with the other person. I found this reading very interesting because it was very applicable to my life. So many times when I get into arguments with my friends or family members I get frustrated because I feel like they do not hear my point of view. When this happens, the conversation usually escalates into yelling, and eventually turns into the problem not even being the topic of discussion anymore but rather personal attacks. I know that this would be a really good skill for me to use in argumentative conversation because by me showing that I am willing to listen to the other side of the argument, I am showing to the other person that I am processing what they are saying, even if I do not agree with it. I know for me, I get the most frustrated when I think that the other person is not hearing my side of the argument. I do not really care if they agree with me most of the time, but rather I just want them to think about what I am saying through my eyes and process it that way. I really think that if I apply this style to my life, this will help the person I am arguing with to adapt to this style as well, and keep the conversation from turning into a yelling match with personal attacks. Another reading that I found particularly interesting was From Racism to Gracism. This reading touched on the difference between racism and what they call gracism. They first define racism as speaking, acting, or thinking negatively about someone else solely based on that person’s color, class, or culture. The reading then defines gracism as the positive extension of favor on other humans based on color, class, or culture. The reading also addresses the question of whether or not this is favoritism and is wrong. The author states that extending positive favor in an environment where everyone is loved and treated with equal respect