February 16, 2013 On The Pursuit of Happiness
On the path to light you must go through the dark. This is because when you are already on the lit path or have found the truth, you cannot go back to the dark or to a lower awareness. This dark to light path is becoming aware of the true reality and making a choice that is valuable. To regress to the state of consciousness you were in before you became aware is impossible because the truth is substantial. At this point you are now enlightened and have other choices. I choose what contributes to my health, wholeness and happiness. My relentless pursuit of happiness began with the unhappiness of an intimate relationship.
In the beginning of my relationship there was an intense intellectual attraction. He seemed like no other person I had ever met and for the most part, this was true. I was interested in knowing more about him and the religions he practiced. Becoming more interested in the person he was, was the start of our relationship. The more knowledge I gained through him, the more open I became to different lifestyles and perspectives. He practiced Islam and Rastafarianism. The extent of my knowledge, at the time, of the two religions was that Osama bin Laden practiced Islam and Bob Marley was a Rastafarian. His faiths were totally different from anything I had ever been exposed to, which sparked my curiosity and kept me engaged in our “bad romance” (Germanotta). Being in this relationship induced my exploration of other religions which all promote a common goal of finding peace, joy and happiness. Although he physically practiced these religions, it seems he did not resonate what the messages taught. He behaved in a controlling, immature, and rageful manner during our relationship. My carefree, responsible, and independent disposition did not mesh well with his personality. I felt like I was his mother instead of his partner. I was so unhappy with our relationship that I googled “how to find happiness”. I sought something higher than what I believed, the religions could give me. I was seeking plain happiness with no attachments besides what it takes to be happy. I wanted to be happy through my own ability. Upon googling, I stumbled across a website named Pathwaytohappiness.com. The site offered various podcasts on the components of happiness. After listening to the podcasts for a few months, my perspective on happiness totally changed. Not only did my perspective change, but I felt like a thousand tons had been lifted off my shoulders; I physically felt different. I remember the first day I felt impeccable. I was courageous and confident. I felt an unconditional love for myself which displayed as happiness. I treated myself and others with more respect, non-judgment, and I learned to accept temporary life-situations graciously. People would ask me why was I so different, and it was because of my choice to be happy.
Some may believe it is inherent to search for happiness or that one relationship may not be the cause of me seeking it. Those beliefs may be partially true. However, if it was not for the hopelessness of that relationship, I would not have pursued happiness wholeheartedly. I would have done things to make myself happy; such as buying myself a chocolate bar. But I would not have really searched for the true depth of being happy until I knew what misery was like. I have had other