Long Distance Relationships Essay

Words: 2363
Pages: 10

Long Distance Relationships:
Can They Work?

Two clichés: Absence makes the heart grow fonder and Out of sight, out of mind. Which one of these two conflicting views is closer to the reality? As it turns out, it does not really matter that much since long distance relationships (LDR) suffer from exactly the same strengths and weaknesses as proximal relationships. Whether two people are going to have fulfilling relationship does not only depend on their geographical closeness. What matters is quality, not quantity. According to one expert on LDRs, "the majority of studies that have been done show no greater risk of an LDR breaking up than any other relationship (Guldner, 2004, p. 6)." An LDR relationship has the same likelihood of
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Guldner (2004) argues that being able to share feeling is very important, but what might be even more crucial is to be able to share day-to-day events. He says that social psychologists who study LDRs find that sharing every day experiences makes us feel connected to our partner. It is important that we strive to be involved in each other's day-to-day lives. The more interpersonally involved couples are, the more cohesive their relationship will be. I can definitely attest to how important that is since I feel that lack of the ability (not opportunity) to share little things, poses a major problem in my relationship with my husband. Guldner (2004) goes further to say that his studies have shown that there is no connection between how often couples see each other face-to-face and the quality of the relationships they have. Factors like personality, social support and the quality of the relationship play a much more significant role (Guldner, 2004).
One good indicator of the quality of the relationship is the ability to share negative feelings and to reveal things about ourselves that are not necessarily positive. Aronson (2004) says that we can achieve greater intimacy if we can develop authenticity. By authenticity he means "the ability to give up trying to make a good impression and begin to reveal things about ourselves that are honest, even if unsavory… authenticity implies a willingness to communicate a wide range of interpersonal feelings to our